I'm gonna have a badass scar
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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