Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
