I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
