I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
