In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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