while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
