and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
