You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
