Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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