Its about making memories worth repressing
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
