she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
