gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
