Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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