hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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