apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
