She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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