just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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