Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
