In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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Do I have a choice?
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I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
