Duck Duck Cougar?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
