Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize