...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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