i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
