I can't watch pbs sober anymore
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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