if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
