is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
