I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
