Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
