i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
