this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
