There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
