he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
