So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
