everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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