I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
