I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
