I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
