The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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