at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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