You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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