I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
