i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
