So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You don't make any sense
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