This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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