THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
