giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
