wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize