I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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