and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
