watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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