1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
