she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
