hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
